Wednesday, May 28, 2008

It's Survival of the Fittest

The pain at the pump, economic slow downs, wars against enemies, education, relationships, physical ailments, mental health and stability, all that gets put upon us by the news, all that stuff has a flip side. And the flip side is not always good or bad. Sometimes it just is what it is. Self preservation and the survival mechanism is the most powerful force in nature, and mountains will move if they must.
I look at my concerns as stated above and I see a temporal, short sighted, mired in the day to day tussle, person who cannot break the chains of the world. I cannot get to a bigger picture because I'm hanging on to some false hopes. I want the world to stay the same but somehow start working for me. I need a break that it seems like others are always getting. Like a good, easy job, or a nice loyal customer who only wants to be fair. The never ending competition and swirling forces that atrophy my profession will either kill me or make me stronger. Maybe on the inside I am stronger, but on the outside I dont always feel I am increasing in power.
Things change and also stay the same, I feel I must worry my way through this life. Even though I am aware of the pitfalls I fall right into every one. I feel as if when I am not worrying I am not caring as much as I should. It really is pathetic, but I can't help myself. The feeling of being alone even as others are around continually haunts me. I have taken the key to freedom from these thoughts yet somehow I find myself back inside that prison. I do look for a saviour perhaps everywhere but right where He is. I do pray for help, and I always get help.
Why isn't it ever enough?

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